I Ride With You!
A couple months ago I was talking with a friend about a tournament we were preparing our kids for. As we were finalizing plans, he said, “I ride with you.” I looked up—Anthony is a mountain of a man, at least 6'4" and close to three lean bills—and replied, “What time do you want me to pick you up?”
He laughed and explained that in his family, “I ride with you” means they’re all in—aligned with someone’s values, plans, and worldview. I smiled, instantly getting it. My grin was partly at myself for misunderstanding the phrase and partly pride that my friend considered me “inner-circle.”
A few weeks later at practice, Anthony asked what I thought of his plan to mentor some of our heavyweights. My response was simple, but it said everything: “I ride with you.”
Growing up, I often heard, “There are two types of family in this world, Christopher—God-given and chosen.” Back then it didn’t hit me the way it does now. Today, when I think about my daily interactions with my God-given family and my chosen inner circle, I realize how deeply I’ve been shaped by both.
As an educator and coach it is my job to teach and guide young adults. I believe it’s my professional calling to invest in every young person I have the privilege to work with. Yet though this is my “job” being at Tahoma rarely feels like “work.” It feels like one of the greatest blessings and honors of my life. I’ve learned as much—if not more—from the kids and families I’ve coached as they’ve learned from me. The athletes and families I spend the most time with tend to share many of my core values and aspirations. The more we work toward common goals, the closer we become.
After 25 years of serving in The Valley, more and more of my former athletes return home to visit—sometimes at school, sometimes on my porch—to check in, grab a cup of coffee, and tell me about their journey. Few things fill my heart more than when one of “my kids” comes home for a visit with Papa Bear. I get a lot of those visits these days, which makes me feel grateful… and a little old. Some of my former athletes now have kids of their own—and I’m coaching some of them, too.
Recently, during a moment of reflection, I came across a scripture that I snapped a photo of to revisit each morning as I think about how I might serve that day:
“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” — Luke 6:38
The photo for this week’s post was taken Monday at our girls’ team practice. It’s of my daughter, Lily, and our family friend, Owen Cline. Owen is home from college, where he’s an All-American at Colorado Mesa University. He isn’t from Maple Valley, but he’s inner circle to us. During the pandemic, he began showing up at my house with a group of boys from Orting to train in our barn. He must have been 14 or 15 at the time. I didn’t know him well yet, but I knew of him and welcomed him in.
Over the years, I’ve watched him grow into a state champion, a college athlete, and a strong young man walking a warrior’s path with Christ in his heart. By the end of his redshirt freshman year, he was training small groups in the barn 2–3 times a week and spending time one-on-one with my Lily. I’ve learned a great deal from this young man, and I’m proud of who he is becoming.
Each morning, part of my gratitude ritual involves holding my rosary and reflecting on the people I interacted with the day before. Sometimes I send a text—short or long—thanking someone for being a light during a dark moment or sending them love to help guide them through their day. Yesterday, as I thought about what to say to Owen, many things crossed my mind. But in the end, I kept it simple:
I RIDE WITH YOU.
The time, love, and energy we invest in others has the power to create massive change—sometimes immediately, sometimes decades later. It’s only this year, at 49, that I feel like I’m beginning to truly understand the magnitude of Luke 6:38 and some of life’s great truths:
Little things done consistently over time matter—and they create long-term change.
You usually receive in return what you put into the world.
As we move into the holiday season, I want to express my gratitude to all my athletes and their families who have become part of Kerstin’s and my wrestling family. Thank you for your trust, your love, and the purpose you give us.
We ride with you.
Yours in wrestling,
Coach Feist